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PWI twofer: Sinful Colors Unicorn

My delightfully analytical sister asked me yesterday if formulas were consistent across brands – for example, is OPI strictly better than Sinful Colors.  In my experience, mostly no?  Most of my SC colors, and most everything else from a major brand, have reasonable formulas (although OPI is the queen of formulation).  What IS consistent is formulas across colors.  Yellows are notoriously streaky, as are pastels.  Neons tend to be translucent, requiring white undies, and almost invariably dry matte or semi-matte; teals are stainers.  And so on.

So I’m not completely stunned that the pastel yellow Sinful Colors Unicorn

photo 2

Five coats.  Five.  And it’s still a streaky mess.  (Click for the full size if you don’t believe me.)  I have better things to do with my time.  Hobbies are, generally speaking, fun!  This is not fun.

…is a total loss.

So, okay, first of all, “five coats and not there yet” is unacceptable.  Among other things, the more coats I do, the more nail polish is going to end up on my cuticles.  (And hands.  And desk.  And, in one memorable incident, cat.)  I don’t do the traditional cleanup with acetone and a brush, because, 1, it’s smelly and a hassle, and, 2, errors are basically invisible when you’re not looking at macro shots.  So I can’t be arsed, I guess.  Second, I look weird and terrible in yellow; I have yet to find an exception to this.

Since this was already horrible, I decided to try something new-to-me.  A “jelly sandwich” is a thing where you alternate layers of a translucent polish and glitter, so that the glitter shows to varying degrees.  When done correctly, they can actually be really visually interesting.  So I poked around and decided on a yet-to-be-reviewed polish.*

photo 3

It looks worse in real life, strangely enough. I *cough* wonder if a nicer camera might fix that.  Which doesn’t matter because I am not getting one.

Not an improvement.  Unicorn is murky, not a true “jelly” (transparent, colored polish), so the glitters don’t glitter.  You can see on my middle finger (touching my thumb) where I tried to do multiple layers.  It just looks like polka dots, basically.

Unicorn, hall of shame!  Hall of shame, unicorn.  Have fun!


* Wet’n’Wild Caught on Sapphire, if you care. I didn’t really process how dumb that name is until I typed it out.

PWI: Urban Outfitters Smush

The other day I found that my grocery store has green olives stuffed with feta cheese, AND green olives stuffed with raw garlic, which I am now happily alternating.  I thought about entitling this post “How to never be kissed again.”

I recently mentioned my random bottle-grab Smush as a dumb name for a color.  But then it was on the surface, so here’s Urban Outfitters Smush:

Indoors, obv.  This didn’t stay on long enough for a daytime
shot!  Read on to find out why I have one weird green nail…

I was applying this, and I was thinking, “Seafoam, hm hm, seafoam… … didn’t I just do an Urban Outfitters seafoam color?  Is this a PWI fail?”

So of course I looked in the box, and discovered that UO Girrl Like You is a green seafoam, not a blue seafoam.  Silly me!  Hence the accent nail, for comparison purposes.

I’ve a bit of a dilemma.  Smush is a cool color, something I would like to have, but the formula is god-awful.  It’s streaky, chalky, draggy and miserable.  This is three coats, and the pinky still has a drag line; I chose the accent nail because the middle finger had the worst coverage.  I did not enjoy playing with this polish, which is super unusual!  Keep or ditch, keep or ditch?  Either way it’s hall of shame.

Man.  Now I’m out of olives.

PWI: Island Girl Polynesian Heat

Mr. Fix-it took my request to heart (okay, I poked him), and suggested lavender nails.  Whereupon we discovered that however the hell many little bottles I have, I don’t have a one of those.  Gah!  The closest I could come was this, which is more like a pale pink, although I tried layering it over purple, which sometimes works but didn’t really here.

Island Girl Polynesian Heat:

Indoor lighting, because then I took it off.  Please
ignore the one weird finger, that’s a failed experiment.

X
Left: indoor; right: flash.  (Oo!  Flash!  Whatever’s next?)

Okay, first off I’ll just get this off my chest:  “Polynesian heat”?  Doesn’t that make you think of something in the red/orange/yellow family?  Or at least something saturated?  Something not, say, delicate, frosty pinkish-lavender?

Meh, whatever, it’s a pretty color.  Which is a shame, because the formula is fail.  It’s everything people hate about “frost” finishes: it shows every imperfection and every brushstroke, it’s thin and runny and doesn’t stay where you put it, it’s not self-leveling.  It looks mostly okay from a little distance?  But it’s not really worth the hassle.

I tried rescuing it by putting a topper on it I’m excited about; the two nail polishes played together poorly, with Polynesian Heat crinkling up and going all weird.

Hall-o-shame!  Shame, I say!  Burn the witch.

PWI: some mysterious UO pink thing

Maybe this is why I keep wearing blue. This was kind of another disaster. I keep buying pink polish, because my husband likes it, but I keep having fairly yellow skin on my hands? (Not so much my face, really.) And it keeps being weird and unsuitable. I suppose it’s not helped by my not liking pink very much.

This is another of my UO guilt haul polishes. Weirdly, the name fell off! So I don’t know what color this is, actually, unless I find a little round sticker lying around. (And the internet is oddly unhelpful.) So I guess it’s my kind of coral, kind of pink, gold-shimmer-laden UO mystery polish.

Indirect (but actual!) sunlight. Mostly I just take these in front of a window.

And by “my” I mean “soon to belong to someone with the right skin tone for it”. When nail polish is the wrong color for someone, it always looks to me like it got sloppily photoshopped in. The application is so hilariously terrible because it’s very sheer, so I kept going to try to fix it… this must be 5 coats. I think on someone else it would go more smoothly.

I think I need to use something soothing next. :-/ This made me sad. Oh, I tried putting various glitters and sfx toppers over it, but it just kept getting worse… lipstick on a pig, I guess.

Project Wear-It: Sinful Colors Satin

Here’s something I hadn’t expected to come from Project Wear-It: definite fails!

I’ve been looking for The Perfect Nude for a while; I’ve also had Sinful Colors Satin for a while, but every time I’ve gone to use it for something, I’ve ended up aborting its involvement for some reason. Well, when it’s the last time I’m going to wear something for a really long time, I’m going to try hard to make it work!  And so I learn: sometimes I can’t.

It’s very sheer. It’s really, really not self-leveling. This is five coats. It’s… look, better bloggers than I have had great success. In/on my inexpert hands, however, it was a lumpy, uncooperative catastrophe. I tried putting it over white; then it was a lumpy, uncooperative, white-ish catastrophe. Plus – insult to injury – it’s too yellow for my skin.

So for the sake of completeness, here’s the first Hall of Shame entry: Sinful Colors Satin.

I really tried, though?

The Hall of Shame here probably refers to me, rather than the polish, dunno. Nonetheless. I won’t cry about not wearing this one for a while, because I’m never wearing it again. Want it? I’ll mail it to you postage-paid, but it can’t stay here.