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Jerbs!!

Here’s where I was yesterday, ‘k?  You can just scroll down to the kitty if that’s your gig.

It feels weirdly like asking a girl I’m really, really into on a date, waiting nervously in a state between excitement and terror, and expecting a no.  Anticipation of rejection, disappointment, trying to not give up, and a general feeling that I’ll never be happy again, no matter how many fish other people claim are in the sea – all overlaid by the grownup-brain that tells me I’m over-reacting to the point of being absurd, I don’t even have an answer yet.  I know I’m being absurd, but the feelings are real.  Stupid meat feelz.

Here’s where I am now, which is much better:

#4 (my second choice) is making me an offer – on unanimous vote, which is insane.  Engineers don’t DO unanimous.  I will take their offer, probs, because apparently they really want me there AND I want to be there.  #4 is amazing and wants me and is very close to Dr. P and Dr. D.  I can make this work.

And:

My call with #3 (Dream Job) was the most encouraging rejection I’ve ever received.  The chair actually called, and made a point of saying that: 1, it was razor-thin between me and the offer; 2, I was the only finalist who was NOT a postdoc; 3, zhe loves my research and will visit me regularly to talk and collaborate, because zhe spends a lot of time in the city I’m headed to.

I mean.  Dang.  How am I supposed to feel bad now?

Normally Tachyon (painfully smart tomcat, 12 pounds, left) just runs
when Libra (cute but terrible, 7 pounds, right) decides she wants
a spot he’s occupying.  Apparently sunbeams = détente.

So… yeah; #3 is turning me down, unless some mystery dude gets a “yes” from CMU in a couple-three weeks AND I am not  yet committed to #4.  But!  Instead of being crushed, my status now is: I could live in a familiar town with access to family and friends who are amazing researchers, where I will do research with people who super value me!  And hey.  Who knows what the future will bring?

The worst possible outcome now is awesome.  Awesome like kitties in sunbeams, which is to say, very, very awesome.

Yipes! Stripes! …and some rough news.

So I was talking to Super Woman a few days ago, and at some point asked her, “Hey, what color should I paint my nails?”

To which she responded, enthusiastically, “Blue with black stripes!!”

Er.  Well… I do have striping tape, which is basically the world’s thinnest masking tape.  (Well, it’s mylar.)  I’ve tried to use it a handful of times, with no success.  But this time I had a Directive, by god.

This is my fourth and final attempt:

Blue!  With black stripes.
Bonus thumbs! …look, it’s hard taking pictures of your own hands.

And I think I got it working!

This is not the shade of blue I was planning to use.  What I’ve read about striping tape is that you need to pull it off when the polish is either really wet or really, really dry; I found that only “really wet” worked, possibly because I had so many layers of polish going on.  Basically I found that I needed something that could be opaque over black in a single not-too-thick layer, and what I found was Physicians Formula Trendsetter Chic #2.  Most of my other blues needed either multiple layers or white undies.*

This is layered over Sinful Colors Black on Black.  I refuse to do a PWI.  It’s… it’s black.  It looks black?  But it IS a one-coater.

So yeah!  I dunno if I nailed it exactly?  But I made stripes, by gum!

In other, lamer news, Interview #3 (nickname: Dream Job) has made an offer to someone else, which he is planning to take.  I haven’t officially been told “no” yet – I have a phone call tomorrow – but right now, smart money’s on “SIGH”.  I have officially set aside time to sulk.


* Yes, this is a nail jargon term…

PWI: Sally Hansen Grape Going! Plus, JERBS

For those who are following along at home, here’s the interview scorecard:

  • 1 (R) – A good school, a decent interview.  I wasn’t smitten, and I doubt they were.  I didn’t make a fool of myself but I don’t expect followup.
  • 2 (F) – A fantastic research fit, but a social fit that really concerned me.  OTOH, they made me an offer, and they offered me the moon and the stars.  If they want me that badly, I’m willing to try to make it work.
  • 3 (G) – A fantastic research fit.  A fantastic social fit.  A fantastic place.  I would sell… something important to work there.  They loved me, too; they told me so.  But they’ve interviewed some truly amazing people, and it’s all down to the shouting, now.  It’s an engineering department.  There will be shouting.  (But please, please, please?)
  • 4 (U) – Smaller school, less of a research fit, but I would fill some painfully obvious holes they have, and socially it was awesome.  People were direct, honest, forthright, and kind.  I enjoyed the heck out of my visit and I would work there if they offered.  Also, the closest to Super Woman and Dr. D of anyplace I interviewed.

I expected to hear from #3 today, but didn’t.  I actually managed to work myself into a state where I was womity just from nerves.  Finally I said screw it and fell back to my usual reaction to adversity: sulking and nausea.

And, oh, food.  Coq au vin (traditional style, so it took 4 hours), cauliflower puree, skinned drumsticks in batches in the freezer, and oven-roasted Brussels sprouts in brown sugar and bacon glaze.  (Um… I have leftovers… help?)  I actually managed to fight down the urge to call an impromptu dinner party and make everyone individual Cornish game hens, but it was a near thing.

And, as happens when the going gets confusing and adult, I have been painting the crap out of my nails.  It is consequence free.

Today’s offering is Sally Hansen Grape Going!:

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Reddish purple!  [hand tilt]  Bluish purple!  …am I more excited than this warrants?

A blue-purple duochrome,* which is pretty awesome.  That said, it has some problems.  One is sheerness, as this is like 4-5 coats, meaning way more chances to screw up.

The second, and far worse, is how subtle the color shift actually is.  I needed this super-direct setting-sun light to get a real purple – the mildly uninteresting mid-tone blue on the right is more the default look.

Anyway!  Tomorrow I will hear something maybe or maybe not!  Please, um, just please cross your fingers, or pray, or whatever your superstition is and all, or nothing.  Just… please.


* Two different colors in different lights / at different angles.  The word is also used for polishes that shift among >2 colors, which makes Grammar Hulk aaaangry because it should obviously be multichrome.  You wouldn’t like me when I‘m… using the red pen

Post-interviews nails time!

I’ve been rocking the Interview Nails for like… three weeks or summat.  And it is terribly dull to be honest, I mean mannequin hands are kind of fun but for heavens’ sake.  So you know what that means (or will by the next sentence):  nail color blowout!

This is not a PWI, but for fun, I’ll tell you it’s…

OPI Euro Euro and/or SC Enchanted,* Pure Ice French Kiss, SC Rise’n’Shine, Orly Lucky Duck, Wet’n’Wild SaGreena the Teenage Witch,**  Pure Ice Wild Thing, Rimmel London Sunny Days, SC Pull Over, Sinful Colors Citrine, and Orly [mystery red].†† 

This is not interviewy at aaaaalllll

Wheeeee! …I don’t know if I’ll wear this to work tomorrow. (I don’t even know if I’m going to work tomorrow.) But honestly I love the fact that I can have this little brainstorm, poke around in my stash, and accomplish it.

Ooo wait, sunlight (actual sunlight, Seattle is getting to that time!):

Indirect sunlight!  It’s, ahm, not very different.  But it was awesome of Mr. Fix-It to take pictures.

Okay, next is cooking many foods, answering many emails, deciding many things.  But loooook I can make rainbows!


* Yes a number of things were liberated from the PWI bin to make this happen!  The daylight shot is SC Enchanted, because by morning I had dinged my pinky. …somehow?
** A shimmer because I still don’t have a real green creme rrrrr. Also, I did not make this name up.  
THIS is the one-pass nail-staining monstrosity! Rrrrrrrrrrr… but it does work here 😛
†† There’s a sticky spot where the label came off… dude I’ma be honest. This is another probably-10-20 year old polish, I am sure it doesn’t exist any more in this formulation, and I only used it because my even older OPI Red was stuck closed. It’s red, ok?  
Except for green, dammit! And, uh. That one teal I ran out for.  Shhh.

PWI: Rimmel London Pink-A-Boo and Sunny Days

Maaaan all that interviewing stuff was crazy.  And, contrary to my expectations, it’s kind of ongoing!  I had a phone thing with someone from Place #3 this morning, and I’m expecting to have another with #2 shortly… it’s complicated, is all.  I plan to post more (spoilers: #4 was great and #3 was a-MAYY-ziiinng), but I kind of think I write in this blog because nail polish is easy and super fun for me, and I could so use that right now.

So here’s a thing that happened before I went off to get my brains scrambled interviewed.

Rimmel London Pink-A-Boo and Sunny Days:

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I tried to use these colors as a half-moon mani, but everything went wrong.
…everything.  I don’t wanna talk about it.  (Okay since you insist the yellow is
streaky and transparent and the pink dings if you look at it funny which I did you
can see it and everything gets everywhere after like 9 coats of polish, aaarrrgh!
)

The yellow, uh.  Needs a lot of coats.  But it’s a very true yellow!  The pink’s fine, very very pink, but fine.  After a complete fail of a half-moon manicure, I decided to go with rocking the asymmetry, which I kind of always love:

X
Mr. Fix-It took photos!  With my crappy camera
phone!  I do not think he cared for it at all!

Ahhh yes.  That feels better than worrying about my future, yes indeed it does. ^_^

3 down, 1 to go

#3 interview went sooo well.  Unless something big changes (like #4 is even better), if they make me an offer I sure intend to take it.

#2 interviewers have made me a job offer.  They have offered me everything I asked for so far and more – they really want me, and that is, all by itself, tempting.

#4 is Monday.

These are all great news.  So why not more exclamation points ‘n’ whatnot?  Well, I have more things to say, to think, but I am so braindead I can’t even make the minimally required words go together.

so kitty.  wish me luck, things going well, kitty.

He loves me whether I have a job or not

2 down, 2 to go

Interview #2: accomplished!

It was definitely better than the first one.  But… I’m not sure the culture is a good fit, and I’m not sure I’m at the right stage in my career.  It’s a university-affiliated research institute, and I could apparently be jointly appointed with a (tenure-track) position at the university. 

That is an amazing offer. Amazing.

But trying to get tenure in %50 or %70 of my time sounds very, very difficult.  To succeed at both that and the institute’s needs, I have to be beyond “above average for junior faculty” (already f’ing hard).  I have to be a freaking star.

On the other hand, the research is an excellent fit.  They’re right to want me, given their needs, and there are people there I could totally work with.  Would be overjoyed to work with!  Hell, my first day there they brought in an ISS vet!  (It may not have come up, but I am a squealing and unapologetic space fangirl.)

I’m trying not to dither about it, because until they make me an offer, and someone else makes me an offer, and so on and so forth, it’s pointless – the decision tree is too deep right now.

Atlanta airport.  Sucker’s gotta be 3, 4 stories tall. Super-tall
escalators always make me dizzy when I look waaay up.

I’m sorry I’m being kinda cagey with details.  I would hardly describe this blog as anonymous (although I’m thinking about how I want to handle it), but I am trying to avoid anything Google-able for now, especially by, say, interviewers!

Interviewing!

I have three interviews in the next 2 weeks, so… posts are likely to flag a bit, I guess.  Or, um, a lot.  Please just cross fingers for me to get an awesome job somewhere (first talk’s in 4 hours!) and there will be content again shortly.

Now I have to go put on a Suit.  Fortunately I have an awesome Suit.

De rigueur kitty:

kitty smoosh

Interview nails dethroned!

So Rimmel London is a drugstore makeup brand, one that I think is relatively newly spreading into the US?  So that’s a thing.  Um sorry but I can’t do much of an intro because I am too excited to show you Rimmel London Caramel Cupcake:

It’s nail polish!  Promise!!  Dinged my index before it was dry.
jaundice = indoor lighting.  Matte top coat.

When it’s shown all close-up like this, you can at least tell my nails are painted, but in most light you really cannot.  I topped it with a matte top coat to minimize shine, and y’all, this stuff is me-colored.  Normally one doesn’t need a nail polish that looks exactly like one’s self, but at the moment I do, and I found it!!  It is this.  It matches me less or more depending on lighting, but I will swear you would never notice it.  (I showed a friend, and she grabbed my hand and stared at it super up close before giving me an “if you say so” shrug.)

In nail-polish-junkie-landia, this look (perfectly matching nail polish) is referred to as “mannequin hands”, for those following along at home.  I’m almost tempted to paint some half-moons (the white round bit at the base of your nail) just to see what it would look like.

I am really disproportionately happy about this!

Also also!

You guys you guys I wrote all my thank-you notes to the people I met at interview #1!

Okay, yes.  This is baseline.  This is something that took like 20 minutes and involved very little thought.  But I am terrible at it, like I never do it.  So I did it and in the same week and I am very pleased with myself for doing better than my own personal sucky baseline!